I dislike labels as much as the next person. There's a ton I've had to fight being put under and putting on myself.
I bristle at the idea of being coined as a "pack rat" and yet here I am trying to find a way to downsize my life by about half of what I own and it's no small task. I'm not a hoarder that's for sure, but I do have a tendency to hang on to stuff I really don't need to, and in conversation with my sister the other day, I came up with the reason why...unfortunately it's a label that fits.
I'm a just in case keeper. I keep all manner of useless things just in case. I have multiples of multiple things because, you never know when you'll need it again. But this is ridiculous because no one needs as many pyrex dishes as this woman's got. I did need them once upon a time when I was 8 months pregnant and went nuts filling my freezer with more casseroles than any family can really stomach...but since that time they're just taking up space. And that's space that I'm really not going to have in another year or so.
There's a freedom that comes with finally hauling out all the bits and sundry that are cluttering up the corners of my life, but there's an anxiety too and that's a problem....one I needed to get to the heart of.
Thankfully I am the child of a Heavenly Father who is in the business of getting right to the heart of me and his timing is impeccable. No sooner had I decided to join my husband in throwing our well- laid picket fence plans by the way side for the next five years than I picked up a devotional book by Priscilla Shirer that hits the ground running with a tough talk on contentment.
Now contentment is something I thought I had...but I don't think anyone with true contentment should be so anxious over getting rid of some baby clothes she doesn't need or feel like what she has already isn't enough. In fact, this statement from the book hit me pretty hard between the eyes.
" You can always tell people who operate from a position of perceived lack and deficiency. They're stingy with their time. They're selfish with their resources. They're tight fisted with their energy. They're reluctant to sow of themselves into the lives of others because they're afraid they don't have enough to it with and still have enough left over for themselves."
ummm...ouch. Excuse me while I crawl out of view...because yes, that is all too often me in spades. And I'll tell you why....
Because here I am agonizing over getting rid of some bins of baby clothes and I am right now fully aware of FOUR brand new babies that are going to be coming into this world just shy of two months from now, needing exactly what I have stashed away in my basement for some imagined just in case scenario.
A page earlier Priscilla had hit me with this as well,
" The more you believe that God's grace to you is overflowing, the more you'll be convinced that you will always have everything you need. And the more certain you are that you'll never lack, the more willing and able you'll be to give of yourself and your resources when called for because you'll be certain God will always replenish your supply."
and how can I be sure that God's grace to be will overflow?
"God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work." (2 Corinthians 9:8).
Oh. That's how, it's right there in the Bible.
ahem.
So here's the way I'm looking at it... and this isn't to pat myself on the back. I share this because it has literally hit me with the profound truth of all of this...not because I somehow hold the corner on how this all plays out.
I don't need probably half of what I have.
Someone else needs some of what I have.
God wants me to use what I have for his glory not my own
If I don't have something it's because I probably don't really need it.
If I do have something it's because I probably need to help someone else with it somehow.
If I end up truly needing something else later on...God is able to fix me up...again....like He obviously already has.
I know it seems pretty simple but it can still be pretty hard to wrap my head around.
I'm not saying we all need to rid our homes of everything but toilet paper and water. Having things is not wrong, aquiring new things is not wrong... selling the old things instead of giving them away is not wrong...wanting things is not wrong....keeping things is not wrong.
What is wrong is hoarding things all to ourselves when really we will be so much freer if we just hand all those imagined just in case scenarios over to a Father who is able to supply them if they come to pass. What is wrong is being tight fisted and stingy and letting anxiety make us selfish.
and so now, my living room looks like it's thrown up....but you should see how clean my basement is.
